NO LIMITATIONS: For now – Let’s just celebrate….

By Atty. Ted Laguatan

The circumstances that led to Noynoy becoming president are God given. Had Cory lived for another year – Noynoy would not have been president. Had he not been the beloved only son of a martyr and a revered icon of democracy – and maybe if Kris had not been Kris – Noynoy would not have been president.

Child of destiny? Written in the stars? Fate? God’s will? Call it what you will – but it’s all of the above. It was meant to be that Noynoy would be president of the Philippines.
God made him president so that in out despair we would have new hope for a better Philippines – for a better future for our people. All men and women of good will must help out in this great endeavor.

It is impossible for Noynoy to succeed as president – if good people do not pitch in to help him.
To rid the government of its invasive culture of corruption alone seems an impossible task.
“BIR,” “CUSTOMS,” “Department of Public Works,” “Department of Education,” – just hearing these words alone makes us cringe. These words are synonymous with government corruption.
He also takes over an almost bankrupt government, and a Supreme Court whose members are all appointed by President Arroyo. There’s also the midnight appointees and positioned military personnel all beholden to Arroyo.

An enormous task lies ahead for the new President elect. The only thing he can be sure of is that if he is true to the ideals of his father and mother, if he lives centered on what is true and right, if he does not make deals with the devil – then good men and women will be behind him – helping him out.

For now, let’s just be happy that our worst fears did not materialize. Let’s thank God and celebrate.

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Atty. Laguatan’s legal expertise is officially certified by the California State Bar. He does immigration, personal injury, wrongful death, medical malpractice and complex litigation. He is rated as among the top 5 percent best lawyers in America by a magazine for lawyers. For communications: 455 Hickey Blvd., Ste. 516, Daly City, CA 94015; 101 California St. Ste. 2450, San Francisco, California 94111; Tel. (650) 991-1154, Fax (650)991-1186, E-mail: laguatanlaw@gmail.com

NO LIMITATONS: Philippine elections – Dark clouds ahead

By Ted Lagautan

May 10, 2010 is D-day for the Philippine’s first electronically conducted elections – a historical but potentially explosive event.

Independent surveys show Presidential candidate Senator Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino Jr. ahead of his nearest rival Senator Manuel Villar by double digits. Perceived as a moral leader, the only son of the martyred Benigno Aquino and the much admired President Corazon Aquino is expected to win - but only if the votes are counted honestly. Many doubt that the government’s Commission on Elections (Comelec) which runs the elections will make him win. An anomalous 1940 constitutional provision gives the president the power to appoint Comelec’s Commissioners. As such, Comelec is as honest or dishonest as the president wants it to be. “The President owns Comelec.” say critics of the troubled system and wants it amended. “The Supreme Court acting en banc should choose the Commisioners in a blind lotto pull from a long list of qualified candidates.” says one. Great idea.

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo has the lowest popularity and trust ratings ever of any sitting president in the nation’s history. Like the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos and his wife Imelda, she and her husband are perceived to have grossly enriched themselves through massive corruption. Her 9 ½ year presidency is marked by one scandal after another (Read “Garci”,” “Jocjoc”, “ZTE”,”Northrail-Southrail”, “Smartmatic-Sahi TIM”, “midnight appointments”, “Ampatuans”, etc.

Term limits prevent her running for re-election – but she is perceived to be secretly supporting Aquino’s nearest rival Senator Manuel Villar – the “Villaroyo” partnership. Defense Secretary Gilbert Teodoro is her party’s official candidate but is among the tailenders because of identification with Arroyo – a kiss of death. Aquino vows to prosecute Arroyo and her husband for corruption. Villar remains mum on that issue. Her presidency ends on June 30, 2010 – but she continues to fill important government positions with “midnight” appointments – including positioning loyal junior military officers in key commands.

Last March, contrary to precedent, the Arroyo controlled Supreme Court confirmed her right to appoint the next Chief Justice even if her presidency ends in a few days – causing mass protests.

The credibility-challenged Comelec remains challenged. Well respected election transparency advocates former Chief Justice Art Panganiban and computer expert ex IBM executive Gus Lagman express public concerns: The scanning mechanisms for detecting fake ballots have been disabled; Clear plastic ballot boxes have been replaced with opaque black boxes; Comelec repeatedly refuses to have the entire source code (the brains of the system) completely examined and validated to ensure no hidden addition/subtraction cheat instructions are there. Lagman and other experts suggest a parallel manual count at the precinct level: “Verifiable paper evidence of precinct totals can be compared with those at the central office which if consistent will persuade that the elections are honest.” The parallel manual count demanded by various sectors is only for the position of president - easily manageable.

Notwithstanding, Comelec rejected this demand – citing expense and delay issues. At worst, the delay is one to a few hours and the additional expense involves mostly the hiring of two more people per precinct – a small price to pay for honest elections. Comelec instead announced a partial manual count audit in some precincts. The computer experts say, “Selective honesty with some precincts proves nothing.”
Many Aquino’s supporters and independent observers expect that Arroyo’s Comelec will hand the presidency to Villar.

Arroyo may possibly have something more insidious in mind. Consider these scenarios:
Plan A. Arroyo and her Machiavellian advisers know that predictably, Aquino supporters will react and take to the streets if Comelec declares Villar as winner. Tumultuous rioting and demonstrations will follow. Some demonstrators and police will be killed or hurt. Bombs will mysteriously explode in different locations and blamed on the communists, Muslim separatists or Aquino sympathizers. Then she declares martial law on grounds of preserving peace and order. Her puppet Supreme Court affirms the legality of her declaration. She stays on as president supported by well rewarded already positioned military officers. Political enemies are arrested, given the option to join her or else imprisoned on false charges. Others are simply eliminated – kept in secret prisons or simply disappear. Journalists are bribed and the honest ones muzzled. This is simply the old Marcos formula – but the problem is that it works in the Philippine setting where more than enough mercenary politicians, journalists, military elements and even religious characters are readily utilizable. This plan is an option if Noynoy’s lead is only by a single digit. I hope and pray this scenario does not become a reality.

Filipinos desperately need the international community’s help and mass activism. Arroyo must be pressured to hold clean elections and allow a parallel manual count. Intentions to declare martial law must be discouraged. Otherwise bloody hell could break loose when the election results are out and when the smoke clears – democracy in the Philippines is no more and the world will have another oppressive military dictatorship.

Plan B. Arroyo is also running for Congresswoman in her province of Pampanga where she is a shoo-in. With all the opportunities to do so much good for the country as President for 9 ½ years which she wasted, why would she now seek a much lower position? It’s certainly naive to think that she just wants to serve the people of Pampanga. More likely than not, it’s part of an alternative plan to seek the Speakership, then move for charter change and then become Prime Minister. If Noynoy’s lead in the polls is so overwhelming that it’s clearly impossible for him to lose without being cheated by GMA’s Comelec, this is her best option. She would invite international condemnation and prolonged siege demonstrations if she continued with plan A – making it impossible to reign as a holdover President.

As of this writing, Noynoy is overwhelmingly ahead of Villar by 19 points. He will be president unless Arroyo throws all caution to the winds and proceeds with Plan A. As president, Noynoy will have a very difficult start: Arroyo has most of the Congressmen in her pockets, owns the Supreme Court, has her midnight appointees in place – and the country’s coffers are almost empty from exorbitant rushed expenditures allegedly for kickback purposes. Still, Plan B is the lesser evil. Either way – plan A or B, we have a long road ahead of us in our continued quest for a better life for all Filipinos.

Atty. Laguatan is officially certified by the California State Bar as an expert/specialist lawyer. A lawyer’s magazine rates him as among the best five percent best lawyers in America. For communications: 455 Hickey Blvd. Ste. 516, Daly City, Ca 94015, 101 California Ste. 2450, San Francisco, Ca 94015 Tel 650 991 1154,
Fax 650 991 1186 email laguatanlaw@gmail.com

FROM THE CAPITOL: Controversy Continues to Plague Universities

BY Senator Leland Yee

Administrators at the University of California at Berkeley are following the lead of California State University Stanislaus executives by using taxpayer dollars to fund auxiliary organizations, which they had previously claimed were entirely self-supporting.
Despite the wildly held view that major athletic programs generate money for their colleges, UC Berkeley officials recently acknowledged that the Cal Athletics program has been operating in the red for the past few years.

As a result, over $12 million of general funds and student fees have been used to balance the budget of the fiscally unsound program.

Previously, representatives of the UC made countless claims that programs such as Intercollegiate Athletics – previously defined as an “auxiliary enterprise” – are entirely self-supporting and do not use public funds to operate. Yet in the face of tuition hikes, faculty and staff furloughs, and elimination of classes, yesterday the Daily Cal reported that UC Berkeley is now moving to designate Cal sports as a “hybrid” organization in order to allow millions of dollars in state subsidies to continue.
Recently, CSU Stanislaus claimed they had no documents or correspondence pertaining to a paid visit by Sarah Palin. Then, email correspondence by administrators regarding the visit were uncovered and students also found pages 4 through 9 of the Palin contract in the administration’s dumpster, which showed her visit requirements include a hotel suite, first class airfare or a private Lear jet, pre-screened questions, and “bendable straws.” The incident has spurred an investigation by the Attorney General, a lawsuit by Californians Aware, and several hate messages into the office of Senator Leland Yee (D-San Francisco) who had made a public records request to the University for such information.

Both UC Berkeley and CSU Stanislaus executives are displaying a shocking attitude of arrogance and indifference to the people of California. These administrations have argued against commonsense transparency and falsely claimed that they are not taxpayer-supported. When evidence emerges that suggests they are being less than truthful, they have no response. The students, faculty, and taxpayers of California deserve better than empty promises made in a transparency vacuum. Although both the CSU Stanislaus Foundation and UC Berkeley Intercollegiate Athletics (IA) program use state-funded resources like computers, staff, and office space, the situation at UC Berkeley involves direct state funded appropriations to IA. These appropriations are in direct violation of the parameters of auxiliary enterprises – defined as “services including student housing, intercollegiate athletics, food services, bookstores, and parking. Auxiliary Enterprises are self-supporting and are not subsidized by the state.”
The definition of auxiliary enterprises was developed by UC itself, and is used in California’s budget process. According to the Daily Cal, UC officials are operating as if IA was never considered an auxiliary enterprise and thus allowed continued state funding of Cal Athletics.
This is another example of one of our public universities playing ‘hide the ball’ with the public’s money. As a Berkeley grad, I want our athletics program to succeed as much as anyone, but I seriously question the university’s priorities when public dollars are flowing into auxiliaries at the same time they are turning away students and laying off workers.

As a result, student fees are increased and funding for programs are being cut. This makes it difficult for our working families to afford a college education for their children. For students who are working to pay for their college education, they are forced to stay in school longer in order to get all the classes necessary to complete their programs. It is not fair that the students are the ones suffering.

Last week, I wrote a letter to Chancellor Robert Birgeneau requesting a clear accounting of all revenues and expenditures. In arguing against legislation I introduced, Senate Bill 330, to subject campus auxiliary organizations to the California Public Records Act, UC and CSU have claimed public funds are not used in their operations.

STREET TALK: MAY ANGAL????

BY Greg Macabenta

If you grew up in the streets and had to deal with a bully you may recall having been told this to your face: “May angal?” Literally: Any complaints?
If the bully was much bigger than you, and especially if he had other toughies backing him up, you simply swallowed your pride, meekly shook your head, and took whatever abuse was heaped on you.

Your only recourse was to weep in self-pity and complain to the heavens about your fate. If you were the type with some measure of braggadocio, you told your friends that you didn’t have the heart to embarrass the bully or you didn’t want to dignify his lack of manners. But deep inside you, you felt really puny, impotent and helpless. And ashamed of yourself for not fighting back.
In this country, which has deteriorated into one governed, not by laws but by people wielding raw power, we are being bullied and told to our faces:

“May angal???”

We make a lot of noises, organize marches, sign petitions, hold up placards, write letters to the media, threaten to go to court and curse the bullies to high heavens. But after so much sound and fury, the bullies in government still get away with their abuses. In fact, in a literal sense, they get away with murder.

The question is: deep inside us, how do we feel? Do we feel puny, weak, impotent, helpless and ashamed of ourselves?

But can't do much more? So far, that seems to be the case.
Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo phoned and instructed a Comelec Commissioner to ensure her victory by cheating. She was exposed. She brazened it. Garci went into hiding then reappeared. And after a lot of zarzuela in the Senate and in the media, nothing came out of the case. Garci even ran for congress. Mercifully, he lost. But Arroyo remained president.

May angal???

Jocjoc Bolante, undersecretary of agriculture, was summoned by the Senate to explain the misuse in the Arroyo presidential campaign of millions in agricultural funds. He went into hiding in the U.S., was jailed, deported to the Philippines and finally faced the Senate. But all they could extract from him were denials. Nothing has come out of the case. Now Bolante is running for governor of Capiz in the party of Manny Villar who is the no-longer-secret candidate of Arroyo.

May angal???

The chairman of the Comelec, the presidential husband and Gloria Arroyo herself were accused of complicity in the ZTE-NBM scandal that would have yielded millions of dollars in illicit profit for the conspirators. Arroyo prevented a key witness from testifying before the Senate on the excuse of executive privilege. A compliant Supreme Court backed her up. To this day, a clear case of corruption and obstruction of justice remains unresolved and unpunished.

May angal????

The Supreme Court, formerly the last recourse for those seeking justice, has told the nation to “Shut up already” and live with its decision to allow Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to appoint the next Chief Justice. That way, Arroyo will have an even more compliant high court when she unravels her Machiavellian scheme to remain in power.

May angal????

The acting justice secretary, Alberto Agra, has decided to clear two members of the Ampatuan clan of involvement in the Maguindanao massacre, based purely on alleged alibis and discounting the testimony of a witness that the two had a hand in the planning of the killings.
The Ampatuans are electoral magicians. They can make even the most favored candidate end up with zero votes. And they can make someone like Chavit Singson number one among senatorial candidates, never mind his dismal performance everywhere else. Obviously, the Ampatuan magic will be harnessed once more in the May 10 elections.

May angal???

State prosecutors, all subordinates of Agra, led by Chief State Prosecutor Claro Arellano, have publicly protested Agra’s unilateral decision and a nationwide uproar has been raised against him. But he is standing his ground.

May angal????

The Commission on Elections has piled up more blunders than the Keystone Kops, leaving in serious doubt the efficient and honest implementation of the country’s first automated polls. To protect the integrity of the electoral process, calls have been made for a parallel manual count. IT experts, civil society, the business community, media and most of the candidates for president are demanding it. But the officials of the Comelec have rejected this recomendation, insisting that the elections will be conducted without a hitch.
That’s like saying that a car with faulty brakes, broken headlights, balding tires and a defective steering system is fit and ready for a race. But as far as the Comelec officials are concerned, it’s their way and no other way.

May angal????

The partylist system was devised to ensure representation for the disadvantaged and the under-represented. But the Arroyo dynasty does not want to let go of power. Gloria Arroyo will taking a demotion to member of congress, just to stay in power, and her son, Mikey, from whom she is grabbing the congressional seat, has decided to demote himself to security guard – more accurately, as the representative of security guards – in order to remain in Congress. Another relative claims to represent tricycle drivers. Everyone knows it’s a farce. But they’re getting away with it with the approval of the Comelec.

May angal????

Gloria Arroyo, feeling ultra-generous, decided to appoint her personal manicurist to the board of trustees of the Pag-IBIG Housing Fund and her gardener as deputy of the Luneta Park Administration. Her spokesman, Gary Olivar, justifies this as providing representation for the common people.

May Angal???

And speaking of Olivar, this fellow is a U.S. citizen, as well as a Filipino citizen. According to the law, a dual citizen who occupies a key official position in the Philippine government must renounce his foreign citizenship. Has Olivar done so? Is he breaking the law and getting away with it?
So what else is new? May angal???
And so, the elections will be held on May 10. There is every reason to fear that it will be Garcified.
May angal???
This we have to see.
(gregmacabenta@hotmail.com)

NO LIMITATIONS: “What If I'm Caught?”

Julia, 43, often wakes up in the middle of the night sweating profusely. She has recurring nightmares of immigration agents running after her, catching her, handcuffing her, embarrassing her in front of friends and bringing her to jail.

An estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants are in the United States. Julie is one of them.
She came to the United States out of desperation eight years ago leaving her irresponsible often jobless playboy husband in the Philippines. Her school teacher’s starvation salary hardly made ends meet. She acquired a B-1 visitor’s visa by attending a teacher's convention in Chicago – then overstayed.

She went though the usual adjustment difficulties: the sense of alienation, painful homesickness, lonely winters, lying about her immigration status for low paying menial jobs. She missed her parents and regularly sent them money. Her father died of cancer without seeing her. She wept the whole night feeling guilty that she could not visit him.
Loneliness caused her to date a married man who left her when she got pregnant. She raised her 5 year old son Michael by herself.

Her job situation eventually improved as she was smart and hardworking. She did housekeeping, cooking and secretarial work for a well to do couple who paid her well and provided room and board for her and Michael.

She generally lives a lonely life, afraid to socialize, afraid to tell her few friends about her immigration status, afraid of the police (fearing that they might report her to immigration authorities) and tends to be paranoid of strangers.
The only solace to her lonely life is her 5 year old son Michael, and the Church she goes to every Sunday where she socializes with a few Filipino friends, sharing experiences and news from the homeland.

She consulted with me explaining her situation and felt guilt about violating U.S. immigration laws. She asked: “What if I get caught?”
“Before anything else,” I told her, “Immigration law is civil law and not criminal law. You should congratulate yourself for having the courage to try and find a better life for yourself and your loved ones. Not your fault you were born in a poor country.”

For her and others like her – this is my advice, if caught by Homeland Security agents:
Don’t panic. It’s not the end of the world. Be nice and polite to the arresting officers. They’re just doing their jobs. Ask respectfully if you can talk to your lawyer first before answering any questions.

Tell them you have a minor child that you need to attend to and ask if you can be released without bond. Assure them you will not run away. They will likely grant your request because of your child and place a monitor electronic bracelet on you. If not, your lawyer can bond you out.
You have a right to a hearing before an Immigration judge and present applicable defenses. It’s not the case that an alien can immediately be deported after arrest.

If you’ve been here a total of 10 years and have a U.S. citizen or permanent resident parent or child and have no crimes – you might qualify for an immigrant visa under the Cancellation of Removal law which an immigration judge can grant.

Congress most likely will also approve the amnesty bill hopefully this year allowing undocumented immigrants to legalize their stay.
So – just be cool. Live life one day at a time, let tomorrow take care of itself. Don’t be afraid. Hope.

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Atty. Laguatan’s legal expertise is officially certified by the California State Bar. He does immigration, personal injury, wrongful death, medical malpractice and complex litigation. He is rated as among the top 5 percent best lawyers in America by a magazine for lawyers. For communications: 455 Hickey Blvd., Ste. 516, Daly City, CA 94015, Tel. (650) 991-1154, Fax (650)991-1186, E-mail: laguatanlaw@gmail.com

FROM THE CAPITOL: Remembering Larry Itliong

EVERY year, on March 31, the day of his birth, Cesar Chavez Day is celebrated in honor of the late farm worker, civil rights activist, and leader. Together with farm labor activist, Dolores Huerta, they founded the National Farm Workers Association (NFWA), which later came to be known as the United Farm Workers.

While Cesar Chavez may be a more iconic figure during the farm worker movement in south and central California, there was another man who stood alongside Cesar Chavez who fought wholeheartedly for farm worker rights. Larry Itliong, a migrant farm worker from the Philippines, was a labor leader in Alaska and California, where he founded the Filipino Farm Labor Union.
Filipino farm workers have contributed invaluably to the farm worker movement and to the creation and accomplishments of the United Farm Workers. In the early twentieth century, through the recruitment efforts of employers, more than 100,000 men leave the Philippines to work in the fields of Hawaii, and the mainland United States, through ports in San Francisco and Seattle. By 1930, Filipino farm workers made up approximately 15 percent of the all California farm workers, nearly all asparagus farm workers in the Sacramento and San Joaquin valleys, and approximately 80 percent of the Salinas Valley lettuce crop workers.

As the Filipino farm worker population increased, so did the demand for labor leaders to step up and help their fellow kababayans. Larry Itliong rose to the occasion, along with fellow Filipino labor leader Philip Vera Cruz, to form the Agricultural Workers Organizing Committee.
Under the leadership of the newly formed Agricultural Workers Organizing Committee, Filipino farm workers initiated the Delano Grape Strike on September 8, 1965 in the fields of Delano, California. What started as a fight for fair wages, became the most important date in farm worker history in California and the United States.

In response to the strike, the Agricultural Workers Organizing Committee, under the leadership of Itliong, joined forces with Cesar Chavez’s National Farm Workers Association to create the United Farm Workers Organizing Committee, AFL-CIO. Following Chavez, Itliong became the 2nd Vice President of this powerful committee. Through the efforts of the United Farm Workers, a contract was awarded to the grape growers after five long years of fighting for labor rights.
Even years after this victory, Itliong and Chavez were a powerful team in protecting labor rights in fields across the state. In 1977, at the young age of 63, Itliong passed away. Chavez described Itliong, as “a true pioneer in the farm worker movement.” And that he really was. His fight for the rights of the working people and immigrants were so powerful that his impact is still felt today in the ongoing battle for social justice.

Itliong is an unsung hero to all workers and to all the communities. It is unfortunate that someone who played such a significant role in a major labor movement in history is often overlooked. Itliong was such a great communicator and leader, and deserves greater recognition for his work.

His leadership and work is a true example of the power of Filipino activism and empowerment. Let us continue to remember his work and rich account of the farm labor movement; educating others and our future about the significant role of Itliong and that played by the Filipino people.

STREET TALK: Wanted; A hero for Santa Banana

It has been often said that there are 90 million cowards in the Central American Republic of Santa Banana. You see, where the citizens of other countries would immediately take to the streets the moment their national leaders steal, restrict civil liberties, trample human rights, or, otherwise, abuse their powers, the people of Santa Banana just complain, feed exposes to the print, TV and radio commentators, and organize “activist groups” with fancy names like Black-and-Blue Movement.

Their most daring action is usually a protest march that is immediately dispersed with a few blasts of fire hoses or the bone-cracking swings of police batons. In Santa Banana, the motto of the activists – otherwise known as “leaders of civil society” – is: “He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.”

Not surprisingly, Gloria En Excesses Deo, president of Santa Banana, feels free to bend, twist, reconfigure and otherwise break the law whenever she pleases. She knows that the 90 million cowards of Santa Banana will yelp and bark. Like dogs. But never bite. Like toothless dogs.
Perhaps it is the Catholic upbringing of the people of this country, once dominated by Spanish friars. The friars hammered into the heads of Santa Bananans that the road to heaven winds through Calvary, that silently and uncomplainingly accepting abuse is a virtue, and forgiving others their trespasses is the key to sainthood.

It took Santa Banana almost four centuries before they could get organized enough to mount a revolution against Spain. But it took the martyrdom of one man to light the fuse of the Santa Banana Revolution.

Then, when they were forced under the heel of a dictator, it took almost two decades to get them mad enough to run the dictator out of town. Again, that fury was unleashed by the assassination of a charismatic leader. They called that uprising Banana Power.
Almost a decade and a half later, inspired by Banana Power and irked by the shenanigans of the incumbent president, they declared, “Once more with peeling!” and staged Banana Power Two.
But that one was less a revolution than a double-cross hatched by Vice-President Gloria En Excesses Deo against the incumbent president, with the help of military officers and politicians who had not received their share of the take in the rackets. In other words, Banana Power Two didn’t take courage and heroism. It just took some very clever schemers to lead the masses by the nose.

And so ruled Gloria En Excesses Deo. And, boy, has she lived up to her name. Excesses in electoral cheating. Excesses in stealing from the national coffers, overpricing, extortion, bribery, smuggling, and overall graft and corruption. Excesses in extra-judicial killings and the muzzling of the media. Excesses in cover-ups and in frustrating the justice system. Excesses in manipulating and controlling the legislature and treating its members like dogs. Lap dogs. Excesses in using the military and the police as accessories to illegal acts.
This year, Gloria En Excesses Deo has really pushed the envelope to the edge. Early on, it was obvious that she relished power and found the term limit imposed by the Santa Banana constitution a pain in the behind. With some equally ambitious politicians, she schemed to have the constitution amended to enable her to keep the reins of power, not as president but as prime minister.

That was foiled by a citizenry that had gathered enough guts to protest. But protesting was as far as they were willing to go. Once the police and the military brandished their batons, exploded their tear gas and let loose their fire hoses, the citizens dispersed. It took other ambitious politicians, the enemies of Gloria En Excesses Deo, to foil the plot.
This year is an election year. A new president is supposed to be elected – the replacement of Gloria En Excesses Deo. Confronted by the harsh prospect of relinquishing the presidency at the end of her term, the Queen of Excesses has set into motion a multi-faceted plot that is awesome in its intricacy and brilliance.

The ultimate objective is to keep her in power. But the moves are more complicated than anything Boris Spassky or Bobby Fischer could have concocted.
First, she has placed her most trusted lap dogs in control of the armed forces and the police. One senior police commander who declared that he would not follow illegal orders from the president has been consigned to the dog house.

Secondly, she has set up the Electoral Commission with an automated system designed to fail. Thirdly, she has let her propaganda experts leak the rumor that there could be a failure of elections – thereby, preparing the 90 million cowards of Santa Banana to resign themselves to that eventuality.

Fourthly, she has made a deal with one presidential candidate, who has a record for honesty and integrity as scandalous as hers, and an obsession to become president at all costs, as intense as hers. This has given the impression that she is prepared to relinquish the presidency. In chess, this is called a gambit.

Fifthly, she is running for Congress in a district that she controls. One of her sons, who had to give way to his mother, is running for congress as a representative of the poor and underprivileged. It’s so outrageous, nobody has found the adjectives to adequately protest the farce.

According to this option, she will become speaker of the house of representatives and take over the government in the event of a “failure of elections.” This will lead to an amendment of the constitution and her installation as prime minister.

And what about the presidential candidate that she has made a deal with? Well, all he wants is to make money and carry the title of president. He will have both. But the real power will remain in the hands of Gloria En Excesses Deo.

And, finally, she has rigged the Santa Banana Supreme Court, loading it with lap dogs who will sit and bark at her bidding and confirm the legality of any illegal action that she may decide to take in order to stay in power.

What, you may ask, will the 90 million cowards of Santa Banana do about it?
Right now they’re being bought off by the presidential candidate with whom Gloria En Excesses Deo has made a deal. They are also being cowed by the military and the police. And they’ve been told by the most influential leaders of Santa Banana media that being raped is not too bad if you learn to enjoy it.

Does that mean that Gloria En Excesses Deo will get away with her intricate game plan?
Perhaps. But then again, the 90 million cowards of Santa Banana could gather some courage.
This could happen if the cowards in the military and the cowards in the police finally look at themselves in the mirror and realize their cowardice. Or, maybe, they will look into the eyes of their children, whose future they are selling down the river, and be overcome by shame.
It takes a long time, much persecution, a heap of insults, and a flood of abuse for the 90 million cowards of Santa Banana to get mad enough to fight for their honor and dignity. Gloria En Excesses Deo has calculated that it won’t happen while she’s around.

But, maybe, there is someone among the 90 million who isn’t a coward. Someone who has the courage, the nobility, and the heroism of the two who sparked the Santa Banana Revolution and Banana Power One.

Someone who will take the words of the Santa Banana national anthem to heart. Yes. Wanted. A hero for Santa Banana.

(gregmacabenta@hotmail.com)