In the Central American Republic of Santa Banana, the ends of justice are always met.
Yes, they are always met with raised eyebrows, a snicker and a chuckle, a smirk and a frown, a puke and a spit, or with gales of laughter.
Nobody takes Senate Blue Ribbon Co mmittee investigations, impeachment charges, warrants of arrest, accusations of graft and corruption, even buy-bust stings (a-la FBI in the US) seriously.
In fact, even when somebody gets caught red-handed – literally with his pants down – he manages to get away with it by vehemently and vigorously denying it.
Politicians have become particularly adept at this, having had a lot of practice by cheating on their wives, being caught red-handed, denying it and getting away with it.
“Aha! I’ve caught you with your pants down with this woman!”
“What woman???? What woman???” (Meanwhile, the woman dashes out of the room.)
“What woman???: Do you see a woman in this room???” (The wife sees no woman in the room and gives up in exasperation – she then cheats on the husband to get even).
And so, when a politician or the husband of President Gloria En Excesses Deo is accused by such venerable institutions as the Worldwide Bank of rigging the biddings on infrastructure projects funded by the international body and the bank shows documentary evidence to the authorities, all he has to do is vehemently and vigorously deny it. Then his allies in the Senate demand that the accuser provide proof.
“Here’s proof!” th e bank declares.
“What proof? What proof? Is this proof?” the allies of the accused ask with raised voices into the television cameras. “Thats only hearsay. You must produce solid proof!!!”
In Santa Banana, there is no such thing as the authorities following up a lead, investigating suspicious conduct and eventually coming up with airtight evidence. No sir. The accuser has to do all of that. So, if you’re not prepared to spend loads of money gathering evidence (and risking your life doing it), you better follow the advice of the Mafia dons, “Fuggedaboudit!”
In the end, nothing comes out of an accusation and the whole case is eventually forgotten. Of course, in the case of Worldwide Bank, it decides not to fund infrastructure projects in Santa Banana anymore, but then it is accused of discriminating against a poor, defenseless, T hird World country.
Then, there is the Santa Banana Senate which holds this regular showbiz extravaganza called the Blue Ribbon Committee hearing.
This is the favorite publicity platform of politicians intending to run for the presidency. It always gets a lot of media coverage and the members of the committee are able to wear their best looking suits (it’s sweltering hot in Santa Banana, but the politicians love to wear suits because they think they look good in them) and ask pointed questions like the DA’s in Hollywood films.
Of course, the responses are preditable. All the accused has to do is to either declare outright innocence, deny any involvement or invoke presidential executive privilege. Prying information from them becomes an impossibility.
E-mail Greg Macabenta at gmacabenta@hotmail.com
Yes, they are always met with raised eyebrows, a snicker and a chuckle, a smirk and a frown, a puke and a spit, or with gales of laughter.
Nobody takes Senate Blue Ribbon Co mmittee investigations, impeachment charges, warrants of arrest, accusations of graft and corruption, even buy-bust stings (a-la FBI in the US) seriously.
In fact, even when somebody gets caught red-handed – literally with his pants down – he manages to get away with it by vehemently and vigorously denying it.
Politicians have become particularly adept at this, having had a lot of practice by cheating on their wives, being caught red-handed, denying it and getting away with it.
“Aha! I’ve caught you with your pants down with this woman!”
“What woman???? What woman???” (Meanwhile, the woman dashes out of the room.)
“What woman???: Do you see a woman in this room???” (The wife sees no woman in the room and gives up in exasperation – she then cheats on the husband to get even).
And so, when a politician or the husband of President Gloria En Excesses Deo is accused by such venerable institutions as the Worldwide Bank of rigging the biddings on infrastructure projects funded by the international body and the bank shows documentary evidence to the authorities, all he has to do is vehemently and vigorously deny it. Then his allies in the Senate demand that the accuser provide proof.
“Here’s proof!” th e bank declares.
“What proof? What proof? Is this proof?” the allies of the accused ask with raised voices into the television cameras. “Thats only hearsay. You must produce solid proof!!!”
In Santa Banana, there is no such thing as the authorities following up a lead, investigating suspicious conduct and eventually coming up with airtight evidence. No sir. The accuser has to do all of that. So, if you’re not prepared to spend loads of money gathering evidence (and risking your life doing it), you better follow the advice of the Mafia dons, “Fuggedaboudit!”
In the end, nothing comes out of an accusation and the whole case is eventually forgotten. Of course, in the case of Worldwide Bank, it decides not to fund infrastructure projects in Santa Banana anymore, but then it is accused of discriminating against a poor, defenseless, T hird World country.
Then, there is the Santa Banana Senate which holds this regular showbiz extravaganza called the Blue Ribbon Committee hearing.
This is the favorite publicity platform of politicians intending to run for the presidency. It always gets a lot of media coverage and the members of the committee are able to wear their best looking suits (it’s sweltering hot in Santa Banana, but the politicians love to wear suits because they think they look good in them) and ask pointed questions like the DA’s in Hollywood films.
Of course, the responses are preditable. All the accused has to do is to either declare outright innocence, deny any involvement or invoke presidential executive privilege. Prying information from them becomes an impossibility.
E-mail Greg Macabenta at gmacabenta@hotmail.com
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